updates

Ok lets start with sports day. my 1st event wa 100m. wasnt feeling very confident coz of my knees (havent bent them more than 90 degrees in days!) and my competitors looked soo fit summore! anyway i got 2nd for dat event, lost to siti.. but i guess it was ok..... since shes an inter-sch runner and all..
Nxt i had 800m. now dat was AWFUL!!! got 5th of maybe worse!!! memalukan..........i started it relli badly..last! but i caught up towards the end, but it was too late! soo tired. wasting my strength onli!
then i had 100m x 4 we got silver for dat. ok i guess. the passing was quite bad tho! btw the purple house was hilarious! coz for 100m ur not supposed to cut lane, but the gurl cut lane. she was on the last lane, she cut all the way to the 1st lane then she had to run back to her lane coz the nxt runner was waiting there! lol~ but its not their fault. i guess their teachers nvr taught them about sportsday.
nxt was 400m! im relli proud of this one coz this was the one that i relli din expect to get ath better than silver..but i got gold!!!!!! yay~! it was soo close tho! barely an inch between me thian and melissa!
last was 400m x 4. we got 3rd for this....not that bad considering that it was pouring by that time! i was soaked through and soo afraid of falling! i din run my best.....but nvm. its over..
in the end i din get best gurl..=,( but i guess its coz siti broke record and i din...stupid triple jump!!!!!!
overall i think i did ok. nth as good as i hoped for. but considering that i won medals for 4 out of the 5 events that i joined...its pretty good! hMmm...cant relli complain!

the nxt day which was yesterdae, i went bowling wif cikgu n jason. my hidden talent for bowling was hiding soo well, no one cud find it!(cj!) so i lost both the games dat we played! for more info, u cud visit cikgu chai or jasons blog! im very lazy to type liaw! and this cikgu so bad summore.. put pic of me(looking like sum org gila) in her blog! humph! =p

mixed feelings

well, its finally here...sports day!!! its tomoro!
i really really hope to get best girl again!!
i noe i have really high expectations, but this is one of the only things that im good in and i wanna do it well!
besides, its my last year.. i wanna make it memorable too!
im joining 100m, 400m, 800m, 100mx4 and 400mx4.
hope to get at least 3 golds! hehehe
goodness!!!! im so blardy nervous! wad if i dun get golds? wad if i dun even get ath??????????
its gonna be so sarky!
summore the competition dis yr is soo tough! and my knees are injured. i can barely bend them!! how to bend down at the starting line!!??
but u noe wad?
im not gonna care! im juz gonna bend those blardy knees and let the wounds split and ope again! come what may! (goodness.. the things i do for blue! they had darn well better appreciate it!) lol~
im feeling the jitters oredi!
dats all for now i guess. Coz i gotta eat then go to Phey Feng's house. then we're gonna go to st joe for the 'Jesus Rocks' concert!

ramblings

i've just noticed recently, dat i've been a very tolerant person these past few yrs... as opposed to the fire-ball i used to be. hahah
the ppl dat i've met recently seem to tink dat im dis innocent quiet lil gurl....muahahahah...very useful sumtimes ;) then they find it hard to believe dat i was once dis loud-mouthed b****. hahah
well....it was a long time ago..i started changing to hu i am todae in f1. coz sumthing happened in primary 6 dat relli got to me and has had such a big impact on me dat i sumtimes still think back on it and sumhow im thankful it happened. (although it was an awful experience..) it was like a wake up call to me... a very rude one..but the point is.. i woke up!! lol~
now i realise dat im very understanding of ppl... even those dat my frens have warned me r b****es. but i noticed dat if im nice to ppl, they're nice back. yes, even b****es. mebe its coz i noe sumwhere inside me, dat they're wad i cud have been. i mean without my frens support, i cud have turned out to be sum s**t or b*****! i'll nvr noe. but im glad i din turn out dat way. thanx frens.. u noe hu u r!
natijahnya, give ppl a chance, they may look very mean, but if u get to noe them, they r actually very nice. dun listen to wad other ppl say. judge for urself. BE NICE!!~

ps: if u tink im too optimistic...its coz i live in candyfloss world! hehe
in this world, everythings nice and good till proven bad! believe dat theres still good in the world...

lily

lily chai!!! (she made me write her in..jk jk)
she's my ekons n pdg teacher. claims dat shes always 18...see her face oledi noe she's 78..hahaha jk! dun demerit me!! but i noe u wont rite coz ure sooo kind. wad else? she has an amazing house wif swimming pool and lotsa kewl kewl expensive cars. she always jokes around wif us but sumtimes gets very serious. esp after exams...then she usually gets pissed. hmm..cud it be bcoz of our results?? (blinks innocently) but its ok coz we noe dats onli coz she noes wad great potential we have to get A1's for spm. ;) dun worry cikgu, after ur face get wrinkles! lol~ hMm..shes also very caring and always books air-cond rooms for us to study in. but then again, mebe dats coz she dun wannastep into our 'pig-sty'. haha
she's also very good in languages...can speak eng, chinese (various dialects), bm, jap, korean.... my goodness..
owh yea.. she's the house master of a losing team yellow! she cant accept dat shes gonna lose again this year. poor delusional teacher..lol~
but after insulting her soo much, she's still one of my favourite-est teachers in da world!! she loves our class!! she's very young (at heart) (hahah jk) and we can tok to her when we're having problems or ath. she even goes out to town wif us! she also lets us 'rest' alot in class. she has two very cute nieces!! ;) too bad they wanna beat up wun chiang! (remember my b'dae last yr?)
Well i guess dats all for now!

trying to delay unavoidable pain...

last nite i went dancing. and i was the only one hu kept upright the whole time. lol~
every1 was like, bending and squatting and kneeling and i was like standing and standing and standing!
ahahaha
my knees din hurt very much and i tried to follow class but sumhow u juz cant dance very well wif injured knees... wonder why? ;)
by the end of class, my bandages were soaked with the liquid oozing outta my wounds. no, it wasnt pus, and no it wasnt blood. it was juz dis clear slightly yellow tinged liquid. (i can hear the ewwwws and the ughhhhs already.) ahahaha
but it was worth it! we learnt four parts of a new chinese dance and also managed to finish learning the modern dance we learnt last week. and they're both soo kewl!! so if any1's interested, the concerts gonna be in a few mths time, so let me noe if u want tix. hahaha

humdeedum......
im trying to put off bathing.... hurts like hell when i bathe!!!
arghhhhh i cant put it of anymore...or im gonna stink. oh well, dats all for now folks. im gonna go prepare myself for torture.

Disappointment

im soo sad today....pissed more like it...argh!!!
this yrs sportsday is not lookin very bright for me... 1st i got 4th for long jump, after i got 1st last yr! then i couldnt break record for triple jump....now dat really pissed me off!!!!
it was juz 3cm away from the old record!! n that was for my 2nd last jump.
and wad did i do for my last jump? well...... this GENIUS stopped abruptly b4 the yellow line, resulting in her fallin down and scraping her plams and knees AND effectively wasting her last jump! now she is stuck wif bleeding knees and no record! so SMART!
aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh
cried till i was outta tears. its my last yr summore... no more chances to break record. no more chances to even compete in triple jump. my favourit-est sport. until now that is...
*SIGH*

mindless crapping

why me?
leave me alone.
i dun wanna noe.
this feeling....
arghhh
so sad.
lost.
lonely.
does any1 understand me?
even I dont!
do u feel the same?
have u ever felt te way im feeling now?
always avoiding,
i cant help it no more.
self-conscious,
holding on to hope,
however hopeless it may seem,
unattainable desires.
drifting dreams.
endlesss possibilities,
floating in a sea of jumbled emotions,
do u even care that i exist?
am i just kelp in this sea?
u dont even noe me.
how can u?
i wont let u come close.
even tho i juz wish soo much..
dat u wud even juz bother
to try harder.
my fairytale still plays in my head.
its silly i noe,
but its a gurl thing.
i always told myself to stay away from the likes of u,
but sumhow,
ur magnetism attracts me,
like a moth to a flame.
i hate u,
the way u make me feel.
its not ur fault,
u dun even noe..
but thinking about it,
u probably do,
the egotistical person u r.
get outta my life,
u dunno wad ure doin,
do u even care?
screw u!
adrirft in the winds,
just a speck of dust.
water in my hands,
frustrated,
annoyed,
high,
confused,
pissed,
unfocused,
lost,
i keep trying to lie to myself,
i noe its hopeless,
i juz cant give up,
cant forget,
cant kick it outta my mind.
fretting,
worrying,
all to no end,
worthless idiotic fool..
u or me,
im not quite sure.
i am sure however,
that this is getting me nowhere.
lol~


to huever hus reading this.......or rather, oledi read this, im juz crapping, dun mind me, a crazy mood swing at the end. hahaha

walls

every1 has walls aroud them...these invisible barriers that are hard to get past. how hard tho, depends on each individual.

lately i've realized that my walls are relli thick and tall... especially around ppl i dun noe.............and ESPECIALLY around cute guys..... wierd huh? y cute guys?
i guess its coz im afraid i'll fall for them and get hurt? coz i noe i dun have a chance and im setting myself up for trouble?

goodnessssssss i sound so sad! hahaha
anywaez this is MY blog. im entitled to write any mindless sad crap i feel like writing.

im sorry ppl, its juz dat im in a self-pitying, 'its been over sixteen yrs and im still single?!' mood. lol~
short, fat, ugly.... wad to do? accept la... :(
so anywae... back to the walls...

i dunno y im soo afraid of getting hurt... but then again, hu isnt?
its like everytime someone dat i feel i might possibly have feelings for tries to reach out to me, sumthing makes me pull back... then ltr on, i regret it. stupid huh?

I'd like to run away From you, But if you didn't come And find me
... I would die. ~ by Shirley Bassey ~

its like i noe so many go-getters, yet i somehow cant get myself influenced by them. i guess my skin is just too thin. i have my pride.... and apparently too much of it. its getting in the way of me ever finding true love. or even love at all.

im a romantic person...i believe in the power of love. so y cant i juz dynamite these barricades away? arghhhh if onli it were this simple.

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will
never understand what pain really is until you have lost it. ~anonymous~

id rather have loved and lost than to have nvr loved at all. but 1st i'll have to free myself from these suppressing walls.

meanie!~

i was sooo mean today!
but i cant stand it, it was hilarious!
heres wad happened..... this morning we had exams. i was sitting behind kchai during the last paper (pdg paper 1), i finished relli early and i was soo bored.......there were eraser shavings all over my table...so.....i picked them up and started trying to throw them into kelvins hair! then kelvin, being the placid, always semi-annoyed guy he was, started throwing them back.
so there we were throwing eraser shavings at each other....it was easy for me to throw them at him, but he had to throw them over his head to get at me so that the teachers wouldnt see and consequently, none of the ones he threw got me.. instead, they landed on my table, ready for me to throw back at him again! lol~
at the end of the exam, teacher was collecting the papers, and when she reached his place, she scolded him for littering the floor and made him pick everything up! hahaha
when he tried to explain dat it was me who did most of the littering, teacher sed "yea rite"
every1 hu saw the incident was laughing. lol~
then when kelvin grumbled again that it was me... teacher sed..."i saw u"
lol~ trust kelvin to get caught in the act and not me!
every1 was laughing soo hard! it was so funny yet soo typical of him!
aniwae kelvin....im so sorry i got u in trouble! sorry!!

new

i've heard so much bout blogging i decided to try it out for myself.... this is a test blog....i wonder how it will turn out. haha im soo "sakai"! im just clicking here and there, mosly wondering what my blog even looks like... i've edited so much and i dont even noe wad im doin! oh well i'll end it here and see wad it looks like.