antagonism

sumtimes i relli wonder y sum ppl antagonize others. its not like dat sum1 did sth bad to u or ath. u juz antagonize them because ur frens do. i personally tink dat its downright silly to do so. hating or bad mouthing sum1 based on wad ur frens tell u. esp when its obvious ur fren is oledi biased towards dat person. i have always believed in trusting sum1 until dat person proves themself untrustworthy. as a result, im easily conned. but i prefer dat to goin around lookin sideways at ppl n deciphering wad they say. is there no more innocence left in this world? trust, so easy to say, so hard to do. be more open ppl! its easier living ur life as an open book rather than keeping secrets from others. without secrets ther'd be no more fear of betrayal.
then there r those who act all nice in front of A and then when B expresses 'beh song-ness' of A they imeediately start slamming A. sheeshhhhh if u hate A soo much y bothering acting all sweet in front of A. n dun say dat u have to. theres no such thing as dat esp towards sum1 u dun like. at worst juz tolerate dat peron la. dun have to go to the extent of sucking up to them. bloody backstabbers.
*sigh* none of dis has happened to me yet, but nowadays i see it happening so often dat i cant stand it anymore. i mean hell, we're in form5!! not primary5! dis is our last yr. we shud be trying our best to cement ties. not break them!

speech

ive got a speech competition tomoro....im confident enuf dat i wont sia soi myself. but im even more confident dat im not gonna win. lol~
it brings back memories of the last time i did sth like dis....the debate last yr. mannnn dat was embarassing! mdm voon told us dat we cud tell the oppostion to sit. so i told ian: "sit!!" then a hush fell over evry1.......gawd!!! memalukan!!! dun relli feel like goin up there again. ppl r probably gonna tink: oh look its dat idiot gurl again.
blargggghhhhhh
i keep eating durian summore. wad if i lose my voice and start choking onstage tomoro?? too bad la...haha

got my report card back today. to me it was ok, not too bad, cud have been much better tho. keep telling myself i'll study nxt time. yea, actually 'study' not even 'study harder'. havent reached dat stage yet. actually studying wud be an achievement in itself. lol~

couples need love,
frens need trust......i dun trust u.
dun blame me,
ur actions have proved to me ur dishonesty more than words ever cud.

owh well

called my teacher on fri nite to check my results..............found out dat.......................the examiner..........oledi left to singapore without finishing my batches report!!! darn!! we'll onli be able to get it nxt week. =(
owh well....

anyway im planning to change my blogskin again. again meaning im planning again. not dat im changing it again. coz the last time dat i wanted to change it din work out. so now i suddenly felt like changing it...so hMmm...see 1st lah if i can find the perfect blogskin. hehe

was juz reading my mail. got 1 from my sis. apparently shes proud of my stalking skills.....says i got it from her. lol~
wad stalking skills? well...i er....am stalking sumbody. lol~~
soo gonna freak dat person out. hahahah *rubs hands gleefully*

ballet exam

i had my sub-elementary ballet exam today. damn hard!!!!
ok i'll elaborate a bit.

the exam is usually taken in pairs. but in my case it was taken by 3 ppl. tyng tyng, phey feng n me. we were the last batch. so wad exactly do we do in there? well, we have to do 14 barre exercises 1st. then there r 3 demi-pointe exercises. then we do centrework. starting wif 2 pol de bras. then we are given an several unseen enchainments(an exercise dat the examiner makes up on the spot). then we do several unseen adage. then 3 adages (arabesque, attitude & tenpes lie) then we do the 2 set adage. nxt is pirroutte, then 3 allegros then ste dance and exercise on pointe and the farewell.

so i was no.1. haihhhh so soi!!! the barre work no 1 to copy from!! then for the unseen the examiner gave us the hardest exercises(our teacher told us when we came out of the room dat ours were the hardest. the other ppl got way easier 1s.)!! like as if she have to use up all her hard questions by the last batch.

i give u 1 exp. try doin dis...... remember to keep ur bottom & tummy tucked in! standing with both feet together n turned out, slowly lift 1 foot & strech it out behind u (90 degrees)(4 beats), then without putting it down, bring dat leg from behind u to ur side ( 4 beats). then to ur front but dis time bend ur leg a lil (90 degree bend, still 90 degrees from the floor(4 beats). then stretch it out in front of u (4 beats). then step forward onto the outstretched foot on tiptoe.......remember dat ur feet have to be turned out at all times!! and bacareful of ur balance!!
*sigh* so hard until i juz terpinga-pinga dunno wad to do!

oh well, i'll find out my results tommorow. wish me luck!

unexpected

woke up yesterday morning at 6am to go to charlottes hse. then i met her adorable lil bro!!! haha then the driving instructor picked us(char, carol n i) up n sent us to the place where the talk was held. when we reached there we had to wait for quite awhile since it started at 9.30.
the talk was rather boring....but i had a made a fren ;) so the talk wasnt quite so boring. haha
turns out quite a number of foreign ppl take their talk in kch. dunno y..? the food there totally sucked tho. eughhh
then carol n char started getting naughty....and they "bullied" me. *pouts* but it was fun anyway. lol~

its funny how one can meet new frens in the most unexpected settings... hMmm nvr expected to meet a new person during the worlds most boring talk and actually be able to click with the person so well. =) unexpected things happen at the most unexpected times.

fates a funny dude, but if he means it, maybe me n my fren will someday meet again. ;) i noe dat i sure hope so!! lol~

after the talk the driving instructor sent me home 1st. then me n my mum rushed out to buy stella's pressie. then we rushed home n i took a shower n i rushed out again to the leo meeting at coffee master. as expected most were late. so i got to stella's party late. but i had a great time there so i guess saturday was a great day after all.

*sigh* wrote the above on sunday. its monday now. im living in regret!!! *sigh* i shud have listened to my heart. i shud have been braver. i shud have been bolder. i shud not be regretting lke i am now. stupid stupid cowardddd!!!
lol~ only a few will understand wad im writing about.

YuBing!!!

the lesson today is: dont think too much or u'll live life with regrets. =)

ps: this lesson is applicable to exams too! dun u juz hate it when u change ur mind last minute to the wrong ans?

back

im backkkkk!!! lol
havent blogged for soo long. since way b4 exams. always either got no time or my mind blank. =(
so much has been happenning..... i had no idea so much cud happen in such a short period of time. at times ive felt so lost and at times so joyful....but it all boils down to wad? nth? *sigh*
i've been digging my own grave....dig dig dig..sth i shudnt be doin it, but i cant help myself. =(
n now im stuck at the bottom of the pit.
blargghh bet noone understands dis post. lol
aniwaez wad happened 2day....had spm oral....totally sucked!!! went in remembering the whole script n when i sat down i went blank!!! so i sat there terpinga-pinga wondering if i shud take out my script. in the end i din. darn! i shud have!! ah well....longer post nxt time.