whineee

regarding my previous post, no the difference is not obvious, so too bad lechers!
sometimes i think i may be too frank on my blog. but not like many people read it anyway =p

im going back to uk on thursday and im not too sure how i feel about the whole thing.

sometimes i cant wait to go back there. ever since i came back here, i've developed severe allergies. at one point, my nose was blocked and my eyes and nose were so itchy, i just couldn't stop scratching. and that obviously didnt help relieve to the itch. it only made it worse. after a very expensive visit to a rip-off doctor (at tung shin hospital in pudu, the taiwanese guy. dont ever go to him, unless u like donating money to people who dont need it), i was $350 poorer, but at least my condition improved and i no longer looked as if i was constantly crying. but about a week later, i developed a weird rash on my chest. it looked like millions of little dots and some grew to become pimples... it could just be a breakout because people are supposed to breakout when they come back from overseas anyway right?? but it didnt look like it... it looked more like some weird skin disease. then again, it could be because of a certain irresponsible person with chickenpox has been walking around exposing the whole of kuching to it (*coughmr.pohcough*).

in addition, my house is under construction and they begin work each day at 8am, drilling away. and if one has to wake up at 8am everyday (they even work on sundays), then thats hardly a holiday is it? plus i've been rushing around getting my visa, injections (oh, the rash could be a side effect of the injections too) and other stuff (such as cooking dinner for the family every night since my grandma who usually cooks went to kl for a few weeks)done, i've barely been out with my kuching friends. its damn sad wei, they are doing so may fun things like going to borneo highlands, mulu, and some faraway place like ranchang pool or something (i cant remember exactly where) but i cant go because i have to be home in time to cook dinner. wtf

it kinda feels like everytime im home, there goes my freedom. its just rush rush rush. do this, do that, hurry, we gotta get it done before u fly away again. i barely have anytime to feel like im on holiday at all.

why the hell did i choose to do bar??? maybe i should have just been an air stewardess (... oh wait, flight attendant is the proper term)and gotten my academic years done with. but noooo... i had to be a smartass and apply to the bar council. ugh.

on the other hand... there are times when i suddenly realize 'omg, im going back in *insert appropriate number* days!'. then i wonder if im really ready to start afresh again. because yours truly was sooo clever, she got accepted into 2 law schools and she just had to pick the one that noone was going to, for just that reason: no one else i knew was going. wtf
so there will be no one to hold my hand this time, im pretty much on my own. such a genius u are amy! *bangs head on wall*

and ofcourse i'll miss my family. i'll miss sitting around the table for dinner and chatting (actually more like making fun of my sister while trying to get my brother into trouble. WTF). i'll miss my sisters outraged expressions whenever i tell my sister my brother ate sweets on her bed again. or knotting up my brothers socks. or saying mummmmmmmmyyyyy in an irritating whiny voice. or grinning widely at my dad after her saw me slip the meat that i dont wanna eat from my soup bowl into his. mainly i'll just miss being an annoying tyrant la. wtf

but it doesnt matter how much i feel like leaving or not, thats where im going and thats it.
so here we again.