mindless crapping

why me?
leave me alone.
i dun wanna noe.
this feeling....
arghhh
so sad.
lost.
lonely.
does any1 understand me?
even I dont!
do u feel the same?
have u ever felt te way im feeling now?
always avoiding,
i cant help it no more.
self-conscious,
holding on to hope,
however hopeless it may seem,
unattainable desires.
drifting dreams.
endlesss possibilities,
floating in a sea of jumbled emotions,
do u even care that i exist?
am i just kelp in this sea?
u dont even noe me.
how can u?
i wont let u come close.
even tho i juz wish soo much..
dat u wud even juz bother
to try harder.
my fairytale still plays in my head.
its silly i noe,
but its a gurl thing.
i always told myself to stay away from the likes of u,
but sumhow,
ur magnetism attracts me,
like a moth to a flame.
i hate u,
the way u make me feel.
its not ur fault,
u dun even noe..
but thinking about it,
u probably do,
the egotistical person u r.
get outta my life,
u dunno wad ure doin,
do u even care?
screw u!
adrirft in the winds,
just a speck of dust.
water in my hands,
frustrated,
annoyed,
high,
confused,
pissed,
unfocused,
lost,
i keep trying to lie to myself,
i noe its hopeless,
i juz cant give up,
cant forget,
cant kick it outta my mind.
fretting,
worrying,
all to no end,
worthless idiotic fool..
u or me,
im not quite sure.
i am sure however,
that this is getting me nowhere.
lol~


to huever hus reading this.......or rather, oledi read this, im juz crapping, dun mind me, a crazy mood swing at the end. hahaha