dance graduation

i just received an sms from my mum.
she met my ex-dancing teachers at a function last night. apparently, all the girls from my batch are graduating in august.
OMG, phey feng do u feel what im feeling???!!! i wonder if u still read my blog.

i feel very very nostalgic.
i was never one of the better dancers in class. i was always one of the worst. it wasnt until i joined the ballet (we had been learning chinese dance since we entered the academy) classes that i started getting more interested in dancing.
or maybe it was because phey feng and i were in the same class. she was always better than me, and probably still is. no wait, i think she still takes ballet lessons. so obviously, im the only one left in the dust. T_T

why do i love dancing soo soo much?
i guess it has a little (or maybe alot) to do with narcissism. we used to have lessons in rooms with full length mirrors on nearly all the walls. this way, we could see whenever we made a mistake. and when i began to improve in dancing, i began to notice how stunning certain moves were. i began to hunger for more dances to learn. i wanted to be the one performing all those sinewy, lithe movements.

if u have been reading my blog for awhile now, u may remember me mentioning several times before that i love performances. and i really do!

i love the rush of excitement and adrenaline.

i love the conspiratorial smiles and winks we gave each other when our backs were turned towards the audience. if i remember correctly, we even once had a conversation on stage. wtf
and the audience was clueless.

i even love the grueling practices we had to endure, and even the harsh way our teacher used to berate us.

i loved the rushed dinners that we hungrily wolfed down, from white polystyrene (i think its called polystyrene) boxes, or burgers from kfc that our teacher would buy in a hurry.

i love the panic and rushing of everyone backstage, right after a dance has ended, everyone stripping all over the place and helping each other, in order to look lovely and perfect in time for our next dance.

i love those lil red packets we'd receive after a performance :D

i love the post-performance, exhilarated, exhausted feeling.

i love being in front of an appreciative (err... actually, if we're performing for functions like weddings, ppl would usually be more absorbed in their food -_-") audience, performing a dance i worked hours to memorize and perfect. but somehow minor mistakes would surface undetected by the (no offense) ignorant audience.

i love how we would cover up for our own and each other's mistakes.

gawd, i just loved everything!


and to think that all of them will be graduating in august. without us. T_T
i wanna graduate too!

if only i were born 2 years later. then i'd be graduating with them. (no i dont actually mean that coz i wouldnt meet the wonderful ppl i've met nor had the wonderful experiences i've had. i might not even blog.)

after 2 years of near inactivity, i doubt i'll be able to dance the way i used to. (as if i used to dance that well anyway -_-") so i guess i'll never graduate T_T

or maybe i'll take lessons when im working. but what the heck, i doubt i can even split anymore.

oh wells... i guess thats just another part of me thats gone.